You lost yourWHAT?
by the.mistral.tempest.of.chelia
Summary: WORLD WAR DISASTER HAS STRUCK! Natsu Dragneel has just lost his scarf! "I'll kill you all! I'll rip out your guts! I'll rip you apart!" yelled a psycho natsu destroying half of magnolia with his attack. NALU One-shot


**_You lost your...WHAT?_**

**_By: . .chelia_**

**_Summary: _****_WORLD WAR DISASTER HAS STRUCK! Natsu Dragneel has just lost his scarf! "I'll kill you all! I'll rip out your guts! I'll rip you apart!" yelled a psycho Natsu destroying half of magnolia with his attack. NALU one-shot_**

Boom.

Yeah, that's what happened. Boom. It was just a simple boom and it echoed across the guild hall as the idiot known as Natsu Dragneel dropped his food. His eyes narrowed at the most possible culprit and he glared. Glared daggers at Gray Fullbuster. The culprit of what? Stealing his food? It was just so unlike Natsu to simply snap. In fact, he was the one that made others snap.

But right now, here he was, standing and glaring. Ember sparks were beginning to form around natsu and there was just simply tension around the guild. Lucy and Levy looked up from their book, Gajeel stopped eating iron, Mira didn't take any more orders, Erza stopped eating her strawberry cake and Juvia. Yes, Juvia stopped looking at Gray.

Well, now that everyone thinks about it, the sound wasn't Boom at all. In fact it was much more than that. The best word to describe it would be...

BOOM!

"Where the hell did you put my scarf Ice pick? Don't say no for an answer. Tell the truth. Where the hell did you put my scarf?" hissed Natsu raising a fist. The usual? Gray would laugh at him saying that he was stupid and would insult him back. Reality? Gray was panicking.

"Listen flame brain. Keep your cool. I, for one, did not take your scaly, stripped, white, something that you always have, from igneel, long, scarf. It is not mine and I am not as abominable as a beast to take it. So chill."

_Oh dear..._thought the guild._ Gray's using the fancy words. Lots of description too. He must really be nervous. This is bad. Really bad. If Gray's scared of natsu for once then...we are so screwed._

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T KNOW WHERE YOU PUT MY SCARF! YOU TOOK IT WHEN WE WERE BRAWLING! I SAW IT!" yelled Natsu. The guild flinched under his tone.

Since Erza was always one of the bravest people ever, she decided to take a stand. She cleared her throat looking into the eyes of a ferocious dragon. "Natsu. Please think rationally. Did gray really take your scarf? Are you sure that you left it somewhere else?"

"Are you saying that you doubt me?"muttered Natsu. The floor he was standing on was getting charred. Master was secretly crying over the budgets that he would have to pay.

"No, I don't doubt you natsu. I just want you to think it over before you make your choice of what you are going to do. Think, if you left it somewhere, then what's the point of doing what I think you're going to do next?"

"Screw the talk. I'm going all out," said Natsu. "Fire dragon's..."

"HOLY SHIT! RUN FOR IT!" shrieked a member of the guild. To not obey would be stupid. Very stupid. In fact, even Erza and Mira obeyed the order. It was just too insanely stupid to stay.

"IRON FIST!" yelled Natsu destroying the guild floor. He launched another attack and this time, the guild door was smashed to smithereens.

"WHERE IS MY SCARF!" howled Natsu. Mira pulled out a booklet. She wrote diary on the front and flipped to the next page.

"Okay, July 7th...X792...World disaster has struck. Natsu Dragneel has just lost his scarf!" she murmured writing those words in.

"We don't have time for this nee-san!" yelled Elfman.

"I'LL KILL YOU ALL! I'LL RIP OUT YOUR GUTS! I'LL RIP YOU APART!" yelled psycho natsu destroying half of magnolia with his attack.

"I'm too old to die..." sobbed Master.

"YOU'RE THE MASTER GOD DAMMIT!"

"Shit, shit, shit. Flame brain is going insane..." muttered Gray.

"Shoot. Double shoot. Triple shoot. Quadruple shoot. Quintuple shoot. Sextuplet shoot. Septuplet shoot..." muttered Juvia counting the numbers with her fingers. "I'LL PROTECT YOU GRAAAAY-SAAAAAMA!"

Erza raised her sword and changed into her flight armor. "Time..."

"For what?" asked Gajeel.

"FOR A STRATEGIC RETREAT!" she yelled turning around and fleeing with the rest of the people.

"WHY THE HELL AREN'T YOU PEOPLE DOING ANYTHING?" shouted Gajeel. "You guys are fairy tail. Didn't you say that you'll always protect your nakama?"

Erza swung around and stared at him. "Listen Gajeel. You can mess with anything you wish and you will _only_ get beaten to the inch of your life by me..."

Gajeel sweat dropped.

"But! If you mess with natsu, he will seriously kill you! Especially if his scarf has been stolen without he knowing about it! Sure, he can lose his scarf for a bit but right now, he is under the impression that someone has just robbed him! I don't think you want to mess with an angry dragon..."

"Uh...okay?"

"Lu-chan!" called Levy. "I have an idea. This is rather obvious but why don't we search for natsu's scarf? Gray definitely didn't steal it so we should find it!"

"Sure," agreed Lucy. "His house first!"

"W-what's going on Lucy-san?" asked Wendy. She had just come back from her mission with Carla to discover over half of the down destroyed.

"Oh, Natsu is just going psycho because he just lost his scarf. He thinks that gray stole it so he's not doing well right now, "replied Lucy.

"Hey Wendy! Do you think you can help us sniff out natsu's scarf?" asked Levy. Wendy beamed.

"Sure!"

Wendy paused and sniffed the air. She closed her eyes feeling the violent air currents. She opened her eyes. "I got three possible places. Natsu's room, the guild, and Lucy-san's apartment. Which one should we go to first?"

"Well, the guild is possible but I don't think it's my apartment. I don't remember seeing a scarf in there," said Lucy thinking.

"Well, we were too close to the guild to sniff out natsu's scarf so we should check there last. His house sounds like a likely choice," concluded Levy.

"Let's go then!" smiled Lucy leading the way to natsu's house. When they got there, Lucy said, "Any area's that could possibly have his scarf?"

"Well, the bed is a definite thing to check out. There's also some smells coming from under the floor and one on the ceiling. That's about it.

"Well, the bed doesn't have anything obviously..." muttered Levy. I'll check the ceiling. Lu-chan, can you check the floor?"

"Sure."

Levy climbed onto one of the chairs and reached for the ceiling. She pulled out...a maid uniform. "The heck? Natsu's interested in maids?"

"No, that's what I wore for the duke everlue mission. Don't mind that...hey what's this?" asked Lucy looking at the object she held in her hands. "The history of mistral's anime list?"

"Probably something stupid," laughed Levy. **(AN: I'm not stupid -_-)**

"Well, natsu-san's scarf isn't here, let's go check Lucy-san's apartment!" said Wendy.

"Sure!" they chorused.

"Wow, your apartment is really clean," muttered Levy as she stepped into Lucy's place.

"Well, I have to clean it for my unwelcomed guests so I guess so. Wendy, what's the most possible place?" Wendy sniffed.

"Your bed."

"Let's check it out then," said Levy stepping forward. She tripped over something that had slipped out from under the bed and fell down.

"Are you okay Levy-san?" asked Wendy panicking.

"Wait..." muttered Lucy. "Isn't this natsu's scarf?" They gasped. Lucy was correct. It was natsu's scarf!

"Then let's give it to natsu-san now!" cheered Wendy.

"And then let's mourn for the destruction of nearly our entire town..." grumbled Levy. Lucy and Wendy looked confused but once they looked outside, they had painful smiles.

"W-well, l-let's hurry before we're charged more..."sighed Lucy. "I'll go first!"

"I'll help you Lucy-san!"

"Me too Lu-chan!"

"Sky dragon's whirlwind!"

"Solid script: lift!"

Lucy was lifted and sent to where natsu was. She gulped at his angry form but she took the courage and stepped up. "Natsu."

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT!" yelled Natsu lighting up.

"I have your scarf?"whimpered Lucy under his gaze.

"Oh really! Aww thanks Luce! You're the best! Then let's go back to the guild now!" laughed Natsu going back to normal. He grabbed his scarf as well as her hand. He led her back to the guild.

"Umm natsu?" started Lucy not knowing how to say this. The emotion change was weird... Well, natsu was always weird so..."You know you just destroyed over half of the town...?"

"WHAT? I DID?" shrieked natsu. "Oh god, master's going to kill me. Luce, let's go..."

"Where?"

"RUN OF COURSE!"

"But natsu..."

"You'll come with me right Luce?" grinned natsu. Lucy looked a bit startled but then she smiled.

"Of course."

**Yep, end of one-shot. CHARACTERS ARE OOC! Okay, that should clear up any hate comments I might get about how horrible this is. I for one, actually enjoyed this. I hope I humored you well. I just felt like writing a commedy story since I suck at commedy. Please review...**

**Oh and if you want the aftermath...here's a little extra...**

Extra

"Fairy tail master Makarov, please tell us where natsu Dragneel is," stated Lahar, the captain of the rune knights.

"What is he charged for?" asked Makarov already knowing of the charges.

"The destruction of property, vandalism and the kidnapping of an innocent person."

"Who is that innocent person?"

"Lucy Heartfilia...and by the way. Fairy tail also needs to pay for this you know..."

"Oh Lucy? That's fine. Not really kidnapping...how much?"

"77 777 777 777 777 jewels."

Snap.

Silence.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"


End file.
